Ivan Okhlobystin’s "DMB," a summary Automatic translate

The absurdist novella "DMB," written by Ivan Okhlobystin shortly before the film’s premiere in 2000, captures the grotesque spirit of army life in the late 1990s. The work is written in a vivid language — the characters’ dialogues almost instantly became folklore and became resonant aphorisms.

Director Roman Kachanov created an outstanding film adaptation of this book. The film of the same name quickly gained cult status, and its literary basis won the Golden Aries Award for Best Screenplay, the Guild of Film Critics Prize at the Kinotavr Film Festival, and a special award from the International Federation of Film Critics (FIPRESCI).

Recruiting station and new recruits

The plot begins at a military assembly point, with descriptions of various conscripts avoiding military service at all costs. The military commissar observes the proceedings with equanimity, regularly uttering paradoxical wisdom. The protagonist, Gena Bobkov, joins the armed forces voluntarily. His motive is a gigantic debt to the brothers Ulugbek and Maksud Aliyev: Bobkov carelessly gambled away their savings at a casino.

Within the walls of the checkpoint, Gena meets two fellow sufferers. The first is Vladik, a student expelled from the institute, and the second is Anatoly Pestemeyev, a stern factory mechanic. Ensign Nikolai Kazakov, suffering from a terrible hangover, is tasked with overseeing the dispatch of the new recruits to the unit.

Before departure, the boys stop at a restaurant, where Vladik attempts to charm a female proctologist, Anatoly devours a huge portion of Olivier salad, and the commander gets drunk and rowdy. A military patrol detains Kazakov, but the conscripts buy the warrant officer’s release with two glasses of vodka. According to the accompanying documents, the trio is sent to serve in the missile forces on the riverboat "Richard Sorge." To maintain their fighting spirit, the boys adopt catchy nicknames: Gena becomes "Bullet," Vladik becomes "Bayonet," and Anatoly becomes "Bomb."

Riverboat Adventures

Reaching the cabin, the comrades tie up the snoring ensign with sheets and go to inspect the ship. On deck, they encounter the gypsy baron Leopold the Magnificent, who is being forcibly transported by his relatives to a wedding. Bullet offers the baron a game of cards for a wish. The heroes ask Leopold to sing, after which he puts on a lavish performance with a gypsy corps de ballet.

The boisterous celebration is suddenly interrupted by the appearance of Leopold’s pregnant fiancée. Sirena Vladimirovna menacingly brandishes an electric baton. The situation is further escalated by a wild ensign who has broken free: Kazakov runs screaming through the restaurant, clutching the severed steering wheel and the bell. Sirena accurately subdues the ensign with an electric shock.

Taking advantage of the ensuing chaos, the conscripts, along with the terrified baron, launch a boat and escape. Leopold initially rejoices at his newfound freedom, but the mournful singing of his fiancée, who remains on the deck, deeply touches him. Overwhelmed by emotion, the baron orders the boat turned back toward the ship.

Arrival at the unit and hazing

In the morning, a sober Kazakov takes the boys to a military unit surrounded by a long concrete fence near the city of X. The heroes wash in a cold bath with laundry soap, get their uniforms, and unsuccessfully prick their fingers with needles trying to sew on white collars. The ensign proudly shows them an intercontinental missile launcher, suspiciously reminiscent of an old transformer box. Lunch in the communal dining room horrifies Bullet and Shtik, but the hungry Bomb devours the porridge with great relish.

On the way to the cafeteria, the comrades unintentionally release a heavy cable spool, which rapidly rolls downhill and causes a loud rumble in the distance. In the barracks, the "dukhi" (spirits) — as the new recruits are called — clash with veteran demobilized soldiers led by Senior Sergeant Lavrov. Refusing to wash the other soldiers’ dirty foot wraps, the comrades are beaten and sent to Major Shkatov’s infirmary to treat their wounds.

At night, the stern demobilized soldiers force the battered spirits to play "demobilization locomotive." A bomb rocks Lavrov’s bed too vigorously, causing the sergeant to fall to the floor, break his leg, and suffer a severe burn from a blazing kettle. Finding himself in adjacent hospital beds, Lavrov suddenly develops a genuine respect for the soldiers. Wanting to stay in the hospital longer, the cunning sergeant forces a Tungus soldier with chickenpox to spit right in his face.

Clash with creditors

A couple of days later, a hungry Lavrov orders Bomba to go outside the unit’s grounds for some alcohol. To camouflage himself from the vigilant patrols, Bomba smears himself liberally with stinking food waste. Near the city store, he accidentally runs into the Aliyev brothers, who are actively searching for Gena Bobkov. Anatoly takes a stack of bills from them for the information he needs, calmly buys some vodka and éclairs, and returns.

Upon learning of the arrival of enraged creditors, Pulya is forced to confess his gambling debts to his fellow soldiers. Sergeant Lavrov decides to appropriate the remaining wealth of the Caucasians. He calls for help from his younger brother, his godfather Galaguru, the aggressive bread-cutter Farukh, and the drug-addicted quartermaster Gera Liberman.

An army raiding party reaches a breach in the fence, brutally beats the Aliyevs, and skillfully takes their money and firearms. On the way back, the satisfied soldiers barely manage to hide under the back of a truck from the brutal unit commander, Major General Talalaev.

Quarantine on a pig farm

The veterans quickly squander their trophy money on alcohol. The quartermaster, Lieberman, begins seeing green flying saucers in the sky due to his chemical abuse, after which the duty officer exiles him to the subsidiary farm. Bullet, Shtik, and Bomb are also sent there to undergo mandatory quarantine before their oath-taking. Their temporary location is located right between the army shooting range and the old city cemetery.

A bored Shtik climbs over the cemetery fence, where he quickly befriends young grieving widows and indulges in lovemaking right on the marble crypts. Meanwhile, Bomba unsuccessfully crafts wooden traps to catch the cemetery’s fat dogs. That evening, Lieberman tells the spirits a terrifying tale about the Black Dembel, whose head was chopped off with a red fire axe by a treacherous ensign because of his love for the nurse Olesya.

Early on a Saturday morning, the soldiers of the supply platoon hastily dye burdocks green and bring a plump piglet to the shooting range. The animal is destined for the cruel sport of General Talalaev, who enjoys shooting pigs with a light machine gun. While his fellow soldiers are fast asleep, Bomba, crazed with hunger, secretly roasts the piglet over a fire and eats it.

To avoid the inevitable execution for damaging property, Lieberman orders Bomba to crawl into the dense bushes and convincingly imitate a grunt. At sunset, Talalaev arrives, accompanied by an air force general and a rear admiral of the fleet. The superiors enthusiastically drink vodka, after which the adjutant ceremoniously presents the commander with a Degtyarev machine gun.

Pestemeyev crawls on all fours across the wide valley, grunting loudly, while the drunken general unleashes a dense barrage of fire on the rustling bushes. The soldier manages to dodge the flying bullets with incredible dexterity, which leaves the shooter genuinely amazed at the supposed pig’s resilience. Meanwhile, the amorous Shtik is having a massive orgy with several widows near the tombstones.

The narrative abruptly ends with Puli’s philosophical monologue about the hidden reserves of the body during military service and the unique resilience of the Russian soldier. The pompous discussions seamlessly transition into a surreal scene: former conscripts enjoying a life of luxury at the roulette table in an expensive Monte Carlo casino.