"Beware of the Car!" by Emil Braginsky and Eldar Ryazanov, summary Automatic translate

This book is a satirical detective story, written in 1966. The plot revolves around a humble insurance agent who steals cars from bribe-takers, sells them, and donates the proceeds to orphanages. The authors combined criminal intrigue with deep psychological insight, creating a close friendship between the investigator and the criminal.

The 1966 film adaptation of the same name, directed by Eldar Ryazanov, has become a cinematic classic. The film won awards at the Edinburgh and Melbourne International Film Festivals, as well as a diploma from the Sydney Film Festival.

A dark, rainy night conceals an unknown man carrying a briefcase. The thief greases the garage door hinges with sunflower oil, picks the lock, and silently drives out the car. The car belongs to Philipp Kartuzov, an improbably obese man. The victim runs out into the street in his underwear, but the thief manages to escape. The next morning, the case of the theft of a white Volga lands on the desk of investigator Maxim Podberezovikov.

Maxim Podberezovikov has piercing eyes and an athletic build. He recently jailed a group of currency dealers. The investigator examines the crime scene with his assistant, Tanya. Tanya is secretly and unrequitedly in love with her boss. An examination reveals the use of refined oil and cotton gloves. The investigator calls the victims. In the hallway of the prosecutor’s office, Kartuzov encounters a skinny man named Penochkin. A strange detail emerges: the thief steals cars exclusively from garages, ignoring cars on the street.

The Life of an Insurance Agent

Yuri Ivanovich Detochkin is returning to Moscow on a flight from Tbilisi. On the plane, he tries to insure a neighbor suffering from airsickness. His companion is carrying a suitcase of cherries and is heading off to attend his son’s university entrance exams. In the capital, Detochkin spends a long time waiting for the trolleybus he needs. His fiancée, Lyuba, is driving. The couple’s relationship is in crisis. Lyuba is dissatisfied with her fiancé’s sudden business trips and his secrecy. Yakov Mikhailovich Kvochkin, the head of the Gosstrakh district insurance office, reprimands Detochkin for his frequent absences.

Detochkin is visiting the apartments of new residents on Topolinaya Street. He visits the Semitsvetovs. Inna works as a cosmetologist, and Dima wears an Italian raincoat and gold glasses. The couple boasts about their new beige Volga and a Japanese lock for their future garage. Detochkin gloomily examines the car. Dima works as a salesman at a consignment store. He uses his position to extort bribes for scarce equipment. Dima’s father-in-law, retired Lieutenant Colonel Sokol-Kruzhkin, registers the dacha and car in his own name.

The Birth of Friendship

Investigator Podberezovikov is interested in amateur performances. Near a metro station, he spots a stooped man and begins pursuing him. The suspect hides in the district Palace of Culture. The men come face to face. Podberezovikov joyfully recognizes the fugitive as his partner from the People’s Theater. Police officers and taxi drivers have teamed up to produce Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Detochkin and Podberezovikov begin to communicate.

An unknown man wearing dark glasses stalks Dima Semitsvetov’s car near a store. The theft is foiled by the appearance of a police officer and a random passenger carrying a suitcase. Podberezovikov detains the plump passenger, suspecting him of being an accomplice. Later, Detochkin enters the Semitsvetovs’ yard at night. He gets into a beige Volga, but his leg gets caught in a wolf trap. Overcoming the pain, Detochkin saws through the metal with a hacksaw. The wounded hero comes to Lyuba for comfort that night.

New attempts and kidnapping

The investigator interrogates Dima Semitsvetov. Podberezovikov suspects the criminal has personal motives. Tanya calls clinics looking for someone with a leg injury. Detochkin calls Maxim and complains of a limp. The investigator pushes away thoughts of his friend’s guilt. At the end of the block, Detochkin goes to insure the employees of the Artistic Whistle Directorate. He meets the bureaucrat Stulov and the charming Sogreshilin. Neither official agrees to sign the documents.

Dima installs a solid metal garage in the yard. Detochkin rents a truck crane. At night, he hooks the garage, lifts it into the air, and calmly maneuvers the beige Volga out. The crane then lowers the shelter back into place. In the morning, the Semitsvetovs discover the garage locked and empty. Detochkin changes the license plates and drives toward the Baltics. On the highway, he is stopped by a police inspector. The patrolman’s motorcycle stalls. Detochkin tows the officer.

Highway chase

The inspector receives a tip-off about a beige Volga. A high-speed chase ensues. The drivers push their vehicles to the limit. Suddenly, a sign for a pioneer camp appears on the road, with a speed limit of 20 kilometers per hour. Both drivers brake sharply. They slowly follow each other, obeying the speed limit. After passing the speed limit, the chase resumes. Detochkin drives onto a moving flatbed truck and then finally loses his pursuer.

Maxim Podberezovikov conducts an investigative experiment with a truck crane in the Semitsvetovs’ courtyard. His colleagues give the investigator a wind-up car. Chief Kaluzhsky demands tangible results. Maxim visits a secondhand store and witnesses an extortion attempt. Semitsvetov becomes alarmed and decides to bribe the investigator. Dima arrives at the prosecutor’s office, but is speechless with fear and flees. Father-in-law Sokol-Kruzhkin promises his son-in-law a quick prison sentence.

The Hero’s Revelation

Podberezovikov comes to Detochkin’s home. His mother, Antonina Yakovlevna, tells him about her son’s past. Yuri worked as a driver, was in an accident, and suffered a concussion. His mother mentions sudden business trips and driving someone else’s Volga. The investigator connects the dots: a leg injury, cigarettes with a dog, and his driving experience. Maxim is tormented by doubts. He walks through Moscow at night and hugs a lamppost. Inspector General Kvochkin confirms that there are no official business trips. Podberezovikov issues an arrest warrant for his friend.

In Riga, Detochkin sells a car to an elegant pastor for 5,500 rubles. The buyer pays the money in ruble bills. Detochkin goes to the post office. He deducts the cost of the train ticket, daily expenses, and gas from the proceeds. He donates the remaining 5,353 rubles to an orphanage in the town of Metelsk. Upon returning to Moscow, Detochkin learns of a visit from an investigator.

Conversation in a beer hall

Detochkin arrives for rehearsal. The director forces the actors to perform Brazilian fencing. Podberezovikov confronts his partner with questions about the trap and cigarettes. A frightened Detochkin hits the investigator over the head with his sword. The men go outside and head to Kartuzov’s beer hall. The owner of the establishment tries to get the inspectors drunk with a special mixture. The investigator interrogates his friend. Detochkin tells the story of the trading depot and the first stolen cars.

Yuri Ivanovich lays out postal receipts on the table. The investigator reads the documents and feels a searing sense of shame. He understands his friend’s absolute selflessness. Detochkin was raised in the Metelsky orphanage during the war. Podberezovikov produces an arrest warrant. Detochkin takes the paper and pockets it. Maxim advises the criminal to turn himself in. That night, Yuri Ivanovich climbs onto the roof of a moving trolleybus. He shouts from above, "Lyuba, it’s me!" The girl promises to wait for him when he gets back from prison.

Trial

In the morning, Detochkin throws his thief’s tools into the Oka River. He decides to end his criminal career, but notices the two-tone car of the bribe-taker Stelkin. Detochkin steals it. Lyuba sees her fiancé behind the wheel and starts a race on a trolleybus. Yuri Ivanovich calls Maxim and reports the theft. The investigator is furious. A monstrous mistake is discovered. The car belongs to the honest scientist Legostaev. Detochkin returns the car to the professor and goes to the prosecutor’s office with his belongings.

The investigator secures permission for the arrested man to participate in a theatrical premiere. Detochkin gives a brilliant performance of Hamlet. The guards weep backstage. The trial begins. The prosecutor asks harsh questions. Witnesses Penochkin and Kartuzov accuse the defendant of self-interest. Semitsvetov delivers a pathetic speech about personal property. The prosecutor announces the initiation of criminal proceedings against Dima himself. Sokol-Kruzhkin rejoices. Investigator Podberezovikov testifies for the defense. He asks the judges to show leniency. Antonina Yakovlevna loudly protests and shouts, "Get the judge out of here!"

Authors’ intervention

The manuscript of the story ends up in the Artistic Whistle Department. Officials Stulov and Sogreshilin are afraid to approve the text. They demand plot changes and imprison the hero. The authors are forced to write a happy ending. In the epilogue, a shaved Detochkin calls his mother and Maxim from a pay phone. He approaches the trolleybus and says, "Hello, Lyuba! I’m back!" The postscript states that the Detochkins named their son Maxim.